Troon, November/December 2017

14 TROON GOLF TRAVEL eMAGAZINE We may never know but rather than the more usually anticipated request to cast my eye across the golfing prospects for 2018 and explore what we might look forward to seeing I have been tasked with bearing my soul to the world and revealing my current pet peeves in our wonderful game and what I dont want to see in the year ahead Actually its good to get these things off our chests once in a while anyway clears the air that sort of thing Its self indulgent to a fault of course but its the right time on the calendar to stand back and enjoy a wider perspective Its usually good for a little banter around the locker room bar and quite a useful diversion from the golfing weather here on the shores of St Andrews Bay that as I write you wouldnt put the dog out in So without further ado on to my Wish To Not Happen List for 2018 KNOCKOUTS First I want to banish shadow boxing from the golf course This crazy punching of the air that has now beset our game all started with Seve Ballesteros back in 1984 when he holed that birdie putt on the last at St Andrews to win the Open and then started flailing about like a punch happy welterweight Anyone within a few feet of him would have been knocked cold Maybe at the time I could have overlooked Seves Latin exuberance in one then so relatively young and inexperienced but it opened the floodgates and everybody has been at it ever since We see it all the time now everyone from Tour players on television to my great Aunt Mildred when she rams in a three foot putt for a 12 and fists fly like she was fighting off Jack Dempsey Its very unseemly and it makes my blood boil Tiger perfected it to a point where he was punching more holes in the atmosphere than there actually are in the ozone layer It used to be that such tasteless histrionics were reserved for the putting green but now theyre everywhere Guys who cant make the cut five times out of six are punching the air when they hit the edge of a green with a 9 iron And where will it all stop Will Ian Im on my way back Poulter punch the air when he emerges from his chauffeur driven courtesy car to celebrate his arrival and then do a punch the air warm up routine on the range to make sure hes got it working properly before he hits the course Of course its unfair to pick on Poulter Hes a nice guy and a great player although his fashion sense may be a bit lacking and I have a sneaky suspicion that 2018 might just be his major year But if it is can you even begin to imagine the air threshing that would generate No one within 50 yards would be safe Marshals would need to throw up a cordon after tournament officials create a no punch zone Its not really a golf problem anyway I blame soccer players for it all That bunch of overpaid overblown and under talented cretins with egos the size of Hell Bunker cavort around football pitches like lunatics And both kids and golfers now copy them If theyre not falling down from non existent tackles or feigning mortal injury with acting performances worthy of Oscars theyre cavorting with each other in a manner that in any other place would violate public decency And theyre at the punching the air thing as well We might expect this kind of behavior from the Neanderthals of the modern soccer game but do we need to put up with it on the golf course Actually WE SEE IT ALL THE TIME NOW EVERYONE FROM TOUR PLAYERS ON TELEVISION TO MY GREAT AUNT MILDRED WHEN SHE RAMS IN A THREE FOOT PUTT FOR A 12 AND FISTS FLY LIKE SHE WAS FIGHTING OFF JACK DEMPSEY Theres something transcendent about golf in the desert where vivid green fairways and bright blue skies meet rugged terrain With Troon Golf Arizona youll be playing some of the best courses the Southwest has to offer and experiencing the finest playing conditions and friendliest customer service in the game Featured clockwise from top Boulders Resort Spa Carefree Lookout Mountain Golf Club Phoenix The Westin Kierland Golf Club Scottsdale EXPERIENCE ARIZONAS BEST COURSES AT THE BEST AVAILABLE RATES TroonGolfAZ comTroonGolfAZ comTROON REWARDS Start earning FREE rounds of golf at Troon facilities in AZ worldwideThe Standard By Which Desert Golf Is MeasuredWhen you want to play the very best tee it up with Troon Golf Arizona